Rules of the Road Read online

  Tam pleaded. “Oh come on, Kels! You’re gonna love her! She’s gorgeous, she has a great job and a great smile. Have I ever steered you wrong?”

  Kelsey thought of the many times that Tam had gotten them into trouble in college with her shenanigans, and frowned. “Too many times to count, so no.”

  Always the voice of reason, Shell walked over to the intractable woman. “Its fine Kels, you don’t have to do anything but meet her. She really is one of our friends and she was already coming out tonight. We thought you might like to know more people than just us in St. Seren. Tam didn’t even tell her about you, I swear. But come hang with us, please?”

  Shell’s bottom lip poked out ever so slightly, whether by accident or design Kelsey wasn’t certain. She sighed and pointed at the lip in question while looking toward Tam. “Seriously, how do you resist that?

  The short brunette with spikey hair grinned and shook her head. “I don’t.”

  “Fine!” Kelsey scowled. “But if this is some sort of elaborate setup I’ll have both your asses!”

  Knowing exactly how vindictive her best friend could be, Tam held her hands up in front of her in a gesture of surrender. “No tricks, it’s all on the up-and-up, I swear! So keep any damn spiders you find to yourself, Kels!” Shell chuckled, having heard many of the stories from her wife’s college years.

  Culture was pretty busy, even for a Saturday night, but the trio was lucky enough to score a pool table on the second floor. Kelsey bought the first round of drinks and had to fend off some straight couple looking for a third. While the redhead with the pixie cut was cute enough, she wanted no part of the woman’s fiancé. It was nothing against guys in general, but Kelsey didn’t do dick, and she certainly wasn’t looking to be in a ménage à trois. She sent Tam off to the bar to buy the second round because of the looks that the strange couple continued throwing her way. Kelsey stared intently at the green felt, deliberating her shot. The thumping bass of the house music vibrated through the soles of her shoes and made her eardrums tickle.

  “Jesus, woman! Are you gonna go or what?” Shell’s outburst was nothing out of the ordinary. For the most part the diminutive redhead looked and acted all sweet but she had a real short fuse. And she was losing. Badly. It wasn’t enough that she drew the losing straw, so to speak, and had to play Kelsey, but Kelsey was a pool shark and an obnoxious winner.

  Kelsey laughed. “Pipe down over there, red! I’m lining up my shot. After you lose you can go lick your wounds on the dance floor and I’ll run your wife around the table for a while.”

  Shell laughed. “You’re such an ass!”

  “Of course she is, that’s why we’re such good friends.” Tam had returned with their drinks and an extra woman. The black woman was about Kelsey’s height and had a great smile. Since Tam only had two beers in hand for her and Shell, Kelsey assumed that one of the drinks in the new woman’s hands belonged to her. “Hey Kels, this is my friend Jenn. She said she’s game to shoot some pool with us, if we want to play doubles.”

  Always the polite one, Kelsey held her hand out toward the other woman. While the woman was gorgeous as promised, she was completely not Kelsey’s type. Rather than shake her hand, Jenn pressed the beer into her palm. “It’s nice to meet you, Kelsey. I believe this is yours.” She smiled and shrugged her shoulders. “And I’m going to apologize ahead of time for not being a very good player.”

  “Hallelujah!”

  Kelsey couldn’t help laughing at Shell’s comment. “Don’t worry about it, I could take these two with one hand tied behind my back.”

  For the next few hours the foursome drank, shot pool, and danced. At one point Jenn leaned over and spoke directly into Kelsey’s ear in order to be heard over the loud music. “I get the feeling that Tam and Shell are trying to set us up.”

  Kelsey laughed. “You think? No offense but I told them no before I even met you. However I am looking for friends since I’m fairly new to the city.”

  The return laughter that came from Jenn startled her. “I’m not offended at all. Tam and Shell mean well, I think we both know that. And you are a cutie for sure.” Jenn looked the curvy Irish-Latina up and down and shook her head. “But girl, no way. I like them a little more—”

  “Androgynous, butch? You’re gonna get a double thumbs up from me there.” Kelsey grinned in agreement with her new friend.

  Jenn nodded. “Yes ma’am. Now my friend James, girl! Mmm hmm!”

  Kelsey rolled her eyes. “I don’t like them that butch!”

  “No, no, no, James is all woman with just the right amount of butch sweetness.”

  Kelsey couldn’t help flashing to her driving app friend. Nerd Car certainly fit that description as well. She grinned. “Good to know we’re on the same page. Best friends forever?”

  Jenn cracked up laughing. “Sure, why not. I’ll put you on the list.” The rest of the evening went pretty fast after that. They all went out to breakfast after the bar closed, where the laughter continued. Kelsey was surprised to learn that Jenn had a ten-year-old son who was spending the weekend with his dad. And Jenn was intrigued to find out that Kelsey worked forty minutes away, just past the city of Livingston. “Hey, my friend James works in Livingston!”

  Kelsey rolled her eyes, thinking about the commute. “I’m sure she enjoys the drive through the nexus of the universe as much as I do then.” Everyone at the table had navigated the five highway interchange and every one of them shuddered at the slow crawl of rush hour traffic that seemed to take place no matter what time of day.

  Always quick to see how puzzle pieces fit together, Jenn was pulled up short by a thought that popped into her head. “Do you use the Driv app?”

  “Oh yes, religiously! I swear by that bit of programming, it’s a life saver. And I have the cutest little rainbow car icon, it’s ridiculous. Why? Do you use it?”

  Jenn smirked as she took in the interesting bit of information and shook her head. “Nope, I don’t really need it since I walk to work. But I’ve heard some great reviews.” After that, conversation seemed to wind down naturally until the four women left to go home.

  MONDAY MORNING FOUND Jamie sore in some delicate places and tired from her long drive home, but she was in a remarkably good mood. She had the music cranked up and was making good time on her commute. Jamie was singing along to “Dreamy Bruises” by Sylvan Esso when the music suddenly cut off as her navigation app chimed. Jamie was irritated to have her tunes interrupted until she recognized the voice.

  “Monday drudgery ahead, all lanes.”

  With a single down-swipe her mood returned to its previous level despite the lack of music. “Good morning to you too, rainbow. You know, that’s kind of a gay icon, right?”

  “And the little white car with the taped glasses is a nerdy one. What’s it to ya, nerd?”

  Jamie laughed at her response. “Did you have a nice weekend? What kind of trouble did you get up to?”

  Kelsey raised an eyebrow at the other woman’s interest. She was paying close attention to the road even though traffic was flowing pretty well. Those were the times you had to watch closest because you could never tell when brake lights would swamp all three lanes. “I had a pretty low-key weekend, stayed in and knitted with my cats.”

  Back in her own car Jaime choked on her coffee. Hadn’t she made nearly that exact comparison to her friend Jenn? She fished a napkin out of her door and wiped the brown liquid off her shirt before responding. “Holy shit, is that a thing? Do they have their own needles or whatever? And don’t cats have a short attention span or something?”

  Laughter came through first. “Not my cats, they can stare for hours. And I wasn’t knitting all weekend, just Friday night. Also, cats don’t knit, smartass!”

  Jamie raised an eyebrow at the feisty woman. “Good to know. By the way, you owe me a shirt since your cat knitting comment made me spit coffee on myself.”

  “Poor baby! I’m afraid that I’m pretty busy right now but I bet if y
ou break down on the side of the road again you might actually find someone who cares.”

  Kelsey was no light hand at teasing the fair sex but she had surprised even herself at her boldness when messaging her new friend. It was strange that she had gone out over the weekend and made actual real new friends, but she didn’t consider Jamie any less valid. The woman in the nerd car was a bit cocky but seemed nice enough. And she was funny, really funny. Kelsey loved her some smart, funny, andro girls. She smirked and decided to just go with the flow and enjoy the low-level of flirting that she was sending the blonde’s way. Her app chimed and it was followed by a particularly whiny nerd.

  “Hey, that was mean! You like me and you know it. Admit it, rainbow!”

  The dental assistant giggled. “I admit nothing. But, I did add you as a friend on the Driv app. That way I can get a message box that pops up as soon as you come online.”

  “Stalk much, jeez? So you like me enough to make me a friend on the navigational app, but not enough to give me your number. I see how you are!”

  Kelsey laughed. “I’ll hazard a guess and say that you don’t seem like a girl who lacks for numbers.”

  “Ditto, babe!”

  The woman in the little silver car blushed at the term that Jamie threw out across the miles. “Careful there, nerd. You’re getting awfully familiar with your terms of endearment!”

  Jamie drove along in Olivia and snorted to herself. She was getting awfully familiar but that’s how the game was played. Flirt, push boundaries, and see where the other woman’s line was. “It wasn’t a term of endearment, it was an observation. I simply call ’em like I see ’em! Oh, and thanks for the warning about the ladder across the far left lane, you jerk!”

  “Sorry about that but it must have fallen off someone’s truck after I went through. You didn’t hit it and do damage to your pretty blue car did you?” Kelsey started laughing before the message cut off.

  “No I didn’t hit it! Olivia is just fine.” Jamie’s voice dripped scorn at the mention of doing damage to her precious baby.

  “Did you just call your car Olivia? And just what makes you so confident? For all you know, you’re not even my type.”

  Kelsey signaled and started to exit while she waited for Jamie’s response. Even if Jamie wasn’t into her, flirting had been really fun. The nerd car icon flashed and Jamie’s voice came through, bringing more than a little blush to Kelsey’s cheeks.

  “I don’t know if I’m your type, but you’re certainly mine so I’m just gonna roll with it. And also, never talk bad about my Olivia. She’s sensitive!”

  Her eyebrows went up with the mention of the car’s name again. The woman was for sure insane, but hilarious too. The smile that lit Kelsey’s face was unexpected and slow. She slapped a palm to the steering wheel and jumped when her horn sounded. “She thinks I’m cute!” She didn’t respond with that though. She went with something much more innocuous, but suggestive. “Maybe you’d get further if you didn’t try so hard.”

  Jamie smirked at the unexpected turn in the conversation. Unfortunately she was sitting in the parking lot at work and needed to end it. “Maybe I would. Okay Kelsey, I need to get inside but I hope you have a nice day.”

  “Ditto. To you and Olivia.”

  The engineer was still laughing as she scanned her badge and walked through the security door. Unfortunately for Jamie, the week passed slowly and with more than a little frustration. Preparation for two new lines under her design suddenly went into rush mode and Jamie had to go in an hour early each day and stay an hour late to try and get everything accomplished by the projected start of production. Not only was she cranky from lack of sleep but she also found that she missed chatting with her driving buddy. By Friday morning she was sick to death of her new schedule.

  At 11:30 a.m. Jamie stood in the break room of a different building than she normally worked. Her company owned an entire city block and their facilities were all scattered around the perimeter with adjoining parking lots and connecting roads in the middle. She had already been waiting an hour for validation to be complete on a tester, and the crew running the eval told her it was probably going to be another thirty minutes to finish. Not enough time to go back across the campus to her office, but too long to enjoy sitting in the break room. A person could only drink so much coffee. Two men and half a dozen women were sitting at a cafeteria-style table, clearly on their lunch. She took a seat at another table and just watched the people that came and went. The simultaneous highlight and horror of her week came when the creepy little forklift driver ran face first into the glass break room door, before backing up and pulling it open. Jamie shuddered when she noticed that he left a grease smear on the glass. He was heading toward the bank of vending machines that ran along the back wall but stopped in front of her first.

  “Hey, what’s yer name?”

  His question caused her eyebrows to go up so far that she thought certain they were going to mingle and have babies with her scalp. “It’s Jamie.” She answered him, but expected some sort of stupid comment or homophobic slur in return. She could not have been more surprised if the grungy man had pissed on her foot, but she may have been less sicked out.

  He made a show of looking her up and down then grinned, displaying at least one missing tooth. “My name’s Bud and just so you know, I like the ladies that look all tough like.” Then he winked at her and finished his walk to the Coke machine.

  Her face scrunched up in disgust when the man could no longer see her and she muttered under her breath. “Oh hell no, eww! Ugh!” Jamie shuddered. “No, no, no.” She continued muttering “no” as if something inside her had permanently broken, until she was interrupted by high pitched screams. She whipped her head toward the commotion just in time to see a mouse scurry across the break room floor. All the women were up on their seats in a flash. Jamie glanced around, hoping to spot a box or something to catch the little critter in. Turns out that she didn’t need to bother.

  The poor mouse made the unfortunate decision to run toward the vending machines where he found Bud with hands full of a sandwich and a Coke, and Bud’s size 10 steel toe boot found the mouse. Bud lifted his foot to see the now flat rodent and shrugged his shoulders. Jamie watched with horrified fascination while the man crammed his sandwich into his mouth to hold it, then bent down and picked up the mouse by the tail and walked it over to the trash. After that he dusted off his hands, grabbed his sandwich back out of his mouth, and walked out the door.

  “Eww!” The chorus of disgust followed him out. Appetite for anything gone, Jamie dropped her coffee into the trash and went off in search of the tester group. She’d help if it got her out of the building that much faster. She couldn’t wait for the day to be over.

  Later on in her own building she was irritated further by one of her fellow engineers. On her way back from the warehouse, she passed by Dave’s line where he was struggling to maneuver a large piece of equipment into position. It was a sensitive camera and he was rocking it back and forth as it if didn’t have fifty grand worth of sensors and lenses inside. She slowed her pace and called out to him. “Hey Dave, you want some help with that? I have a few minutes.”

  He glanced her way with a pissy look on his face. “I’ve got it, James. Isn’t it feeding time for your cubemate? Best get back to the fag zoo now.” He emphasized her shortened masculine name the same way he always did because he was a raging homophobe and hated her guts. Of course there was no one else around to hear him. She shrugged and refused to be baited by the jackass. Though it was made more difficult when she heard him muttering something about “fucking dykes” under his breath. She let it go because it was never worth fighting with him about it.

  By the time she walked into the engineering office an hour and a half later, she was just starting to get her appetite back. She shared a large double cube with one of her coworkers who was a great guy but also a notorious garbage disposal when it came to food. Bill looked up from the stack of vendin
g machine packages arrayed in front of him. “Hey, how did the validation go?”

  Jamie threw herself into her chair. “Seriously, what is wrong with the tester group? I will be happy if I never set foot into the West 15 building again!” She shuddered remembering Bud.

  “Oh, come on. It can’t be that bad.” Because of the layout of their cube, they sat facing adjacent corners with mostly their backs facing each other. When he mumbled something else around a mouthful of food, she kicked his chair to get him to turn around.

  “I can’t understand you when you’re talking with your mouth full.” Bill spun in his chair to face her and the moment seemed to slow to a stop for the blonde woman. In his hand he held some sort of sandwich on a bun, but it was the long tendril of something hanging from the corner of his mouth that gave her pause. She had been getting ready to tell her coworker about the incident at West 15 but those weren’t the words that came out of her mouth. “Dude, what the hell are you eating?”

  He held it up and smiled as he slurped the tendril back in to his mouth. “It was one of the new sandwiches in the wheel of death. It’s called a mouse burger—” Jamie’s face paled and the rest of his words were lost as she flashed back to the poor flattened mouse dangling from Bud’s fingertips. Bill’s voice filtered back in as the memory faded. “Has beef and onions, and it got its name because it’s so small!”

  Jamie stood abruptly from her chair and grabbed the safety glasses off her desk. “Oh, hey man, I gotta go check the line.”

  She was already walking toward the office exit when she heard him yell over the cube walls after her. “Are you sure you don’t want a bite?” She shivered in disgust and walked faster.

  Chapter Four